I specifically want to address some cool things going on in the Bycroft home right now. Namely- adoption! I hate that this post will most likely be lengthy but there just is no way around it :) trust me, it could be worse!
A little background on us - many, many moons ago when we lived in Monmouth, IL and I got the very distinct feeling that God was going to ask something HUGE from me. It was a great feeling and helped me to be very open to God's calling when the rubber hit the road and He called us to quit our jobs, sell out home and move away from the only family and *awesome* friends we had ever known. It was a no-brainer, really. Go? Well, ya! Ok... duh! Of course I will also say that I realize I am oh, *so* very fortunate to have a husband who not only loves me but lets me know it and lets me know that he loves God with all his heart. That, and that alone helps me to completely trust anything that Tim throws out there. So, off we go to Lincoln - and an amazing time it was!
We spent right at 2 years there, yes my hubby completed a 4 year degree in 2-1/2 years.... boyaaaa! During that time we readily welcomed our Emma Grace and grew as a family in ways we didn't even realize. In the process of our move to Lincoln we lost our son, Benjamin. A loss that never truly makes sense but in our world, it doesn't have to. We loved him and miss him greatly. God gave us amazing strength and comfort - something hard to imagine unless you have experienced it.
We moved to Kenosha, WI in 2002 so that Tim could take on a position as "Director of Maturity" at North Point Christian Church in Winthrop Harbor, IL. Ok, High School friends, have a good laugh with that and then get over it because he totally rocked it! Tim was over all of the classes and Small Groups at the time. He was perfectly suited for it. Until... God decided different and worked through Tim to create in him a man perfect for Lead Pastor, speaking every week now. Great stuff!
I thought at the time that moving away from 'home' was exactly what God had been preparing in my heart. It was exciting to put wheels to what I felt God wanted from me. The interesting thing was that the feeling really didn't go away. It still felt like that was part of His plan, but there seemed to be more.
Shortly after taking the position at the church, I fell and broke my leg = met our insurance deductible = must be time to get my tubes tied! We felt that if God wanted more children in our family that He is pretty big, creative and industrious enough that He didn't need ME to make that happen. It was then that I realized that I may want more kids but definitely didn't feel the need to go through any more pregnancies. First hint of adoption inspiration....
Over the years the idea of adopting popped up here and there but Tim and I never really had an outright conversation about it. A few years back, we had a conversation at iHop over lunch one day that pretty much spelled out that we were both on the same page. We would be willing to adopt if God presented the right situation for us. Not that we would actively pursue it but would be looking for that opportunity. A couple of different scenarios came about where we actually said out loud, "Could this be our kid?" and pressed the situation coming out empty. Not a bad thing! Just not what God had in His plans for our family.
Tim recently traveled to the DR/Haiti on a mission trip with a few church friends on a 'discovery trip' with G.O. Ministries. Hands down a life changing experience for all of them! In more ways than one, honestly! But the most pressing is the distinct idea to actively pursue adoption. Here over the last few days we have shared a message with some of our close friends and family, I think I'll share it here - it explains alot about where we are.
Hey All,
Mindy and I are writing to you because you are friends and family that we trust will be praying with us over something we believe God is leading us to do.
As you may know or not know, I do not jump into or out of things quickly. I try to take my time and soberly consider why I would do or not do something...drives many people around me who are looking for the quick answer nuts sometimes, but I'm ok with that!
For quite some time we have been praying about having another child (Mindy would go so far as to say God has placed it on her heart). Clinically speaking this is virtually impossible…just sayin’. So we have considered many different avenues including, fostering, adopting, and kidnapping... Adopting seems to be what we always seem to come back to.
If you have been around us much you know that we simply try to allow God to use us wherever we are at. So, we have felt that we would simply wait for God to show us the right time and child. There have been a couple of times where we put ourselves into the lives of a couple of young pregnant teens locally and have given them the option to allow us to adopt if they felt they did not want to raise the child. The great news is that the mom's kept their babies and are caring for them...woo hoo!
All that being said, I (Tim) recently went on a missions trip and could not help but have my heart broken by some of the children I saw while in the Dominican Republic and Haiti. For those of you thinking that this may be some sort of rash decision let me just say, we cannot help but think that it is possible that God would be placing an opportunity before us...and we would simply hate to miss it if He is. I take seriously the sin of omission.
There was one little boy on the trip that in particular grabbed my attention. His name is Anthony (pronounced An-Tony). He was about 3-4 years old and he grabbed on to me as soon as we stepped into The Hole and literally did not let go. Why? Simply put, all he wanted was to be loved on…for someone to touch him and show him affection. You see, the place where he lives is literally a garbage dump that is controlled by a drug dealer. The men in The Hole are drug runners and the majority of the women are prostitutes. Drug trafficking and human trafficking are the main source of income in The Hole. The children are literally locked out of their homes every morning while their parents go to 'work' and are left to fend for themselves.
These kids are inundated with physical, emotional, and sexual abuse on a daily basis, while living in the only place they can…a garbage dump. NPC is going to partner with GO Ministries to minister to the people in The Hole. I cannot wait to see how God works this all out.
When I got home I began talking to my family about Anthony and some of the things I was able to witness in the DR and Haiti. After sharing a bit, Kurt asked Mindy and I to do something weird. He wanted to take the money we have been saving for quite some time for a family vacation (a cruise) and support Anthony somehow. I explained to him the system that GO Ministries uses to support the kids and what is in place that we could partner with to help out. He thought that was pretty cool.
Then Kurt said something else..."What if we adopted him?"
(Tim) "Now I am not saying we would have opportunity to adopt Anthony, maybe we would...not limiting God on anything. But that really pushed my buttons. What if we did adopt a child from the DR or Haiti? I kid you not, as soon as I began to process what Kurt said, passages of scripture about widows and orphans began running through my mind and thoughts of treasures laid up in heaven and not on this earth began to press in on me."
(Mindy) "Holy Cow, the kid read my mind! From the very minute I saw the boy on Tim's shoulders I thought, 'Hmm, is this our kid?' As I have a couple of times in different situations wondering what God might bring to our family."
Here is where the rubber hit the road, I later mentioned briefly to Mindy what I was thinking about this whole adoption thing. Her reaction was much the same as many times in the past, (her simplicity of faith blows me away) she simply said, “Yep, let’s do this.”
So we are here to ask for prayers as we begin this journey. We have no idea what God has in store for us but we are pretty stinking excited about the possibilities. What may seem absolutely crazy to some is absolute certainty in our minds. We know that we are getting ‘up there’ in age (well Mindy is anyway) but feel we still have a lot to offer in this arena. We truly love God with all of our hearts and love others, especially each other; that in and of itself these days seems rare.
We love our crazy kids dearly! Yet, on more than one occasion admit we have dreamed of the day when we will be 'empty nesters' but the adoption possibility far outweighs the thought of a *clean* house that stays clean, closets without empty pop tart wrappers and chicken bones, a clean refrigerator handle, no broken down (20-40 year old) beds from one to many jumps, and the back of the bathroom door with no boogers....
There are many things to do in the coming months, but we know that to rescue and possibly help redeem at least one child is something God wants us to pursue. And who knows, maybe in the midst of your prayers God may to challenge you to invest in the life of another who needs rescued and redeemed. You know, it’s an investment that far outlasts this lifetime…and rust and thieves and economic downturns can never take it away.
Love you all - Let's ROCK THIS THING! Love you all - Let's rock this thing! Tim and Mindy, Kurt, Lindsey and Emma
It wasn't clear here that we are not pursuing adopting Anthony - he isn't 'up' for adoption. We did toss it out there to some people close to the situation that we absolutely would be willing to. I'm hoping that God will abruptly close that door soon if that is His thinking so I can stop thinking about it! But if he is our kid, we'll just keep this whole thing simple and go get him! Ha.... I' think nothing about this process is going to be simple! But that is ok!My final thought (for today at least) is this - that feeling, the feeling of God preparing me to do something HUGE... is normal! Or it is hopefully normal for everyone! It should be something that is in all of us. I.Love.God - its just an amazing trip I'm on! I'm constantly in awe of the life I get to live!!
I hope to keep updates going through the blog as not to inundate people on facebook - but I make no promises!
As of now we have submitted our application and fee to an organization and are awaiting approval. The next step is to set up a home study. Yesterday we took the kids to a seminar put on by the organization we are looking at. Very informative, yet not alot of new information - which is good :)
Right now we are looking at adopting from Haiti. A child 0-10 and we think its a boy - always have. Not to say it isn't a girl but this I know for sure.... God has at least one more child in mind for our family. Its already planned out in His mind, we just have to MOVE! We have no idea how or when this will happen but are very certain and confident that God is with us - that He promises us over and over. Thats enough for me.
