The Game

My girlfriend asked me today if I had any advice for her 7 year old who's got some neighborhood kid issues - like ever other kid alive, right!!?? We get this question a lot and with 3 kids already having gone through (and still going through!) this kind of thing, God literally gave me this conversation to have with Emma about 3 years ago when she was 7 - yes, 1st grade.  She had been having issues at school with a certain 'popular' girl and this particular day came home devastated saying, "Mom, **** said today that if I don't be her friend that she not only wouldn't invite me to her party but she would make it so every kid in class won't like me either.... and she can do it too! She's got that kind of power!"  That was it, this was a daily conversation in the van on the way home and I had been praying about it for a long time.  How on earth do you teach your kids about this stuff!??? And then it happened, like God does... this conversation flowed out of my mouth and I just sat back and let it roll.

My dear child, **** and the girls on the playground making your life miserable are playing a game. Its called the Drama Game and if you play - you loose.


It doesn't matter if you are right, sticking up for yourself or someone else or what... if you play, you loose. So here's what you do. Don't play, go play something else - hopscotch, jumprope, swing, anything! But keep these 2 things in mind as you do this.


1) The people playing the drama game most likely don't even know that are playing it and I'm certain they really don't want to play it either... they don't know what else to do. Its what they have seen or heard and its what they know. I'm just guessing that these are pretty good kids, they want to be nice, have fun and live a happy life but they *don't know what else to do*. So its up to you to be a leader. Be nice to them, why? Because thats the kind of kid you are! And if you change your behavior because of someone else then you are just as irritating as them. Thats hard to take I know, but its true. If I loan you $5 because you *need it (*need meaning a serious situation, not something silly) and next week I need to borrow $5 but you tell me no, what do you suppose I should do the next time you need $5? Well let me tell ya, I'm going to give it to you, why? Because thats the kind of person God created me to be, to do the right thing because its right, not because of what you might do for me.


The easy thing would be to say just don't play with them but its really not an option, right? Step up and suggest something else. Don't acknowledge the drama just switch gears. If you give a better idea of what to do I'm sure they will want to play that and if they don't - then just let them go. But I guarantee you others will want to play what you are playing, why? Because there is NO DRAMA there and ultimately nobody enjoys that!


2) Sadly, you've got to get this figured out now because as you grow older you will see that the same behavior happens in adults. But, because you are a Christian you are called to lead others in a positive direction - a direction that makes God proud and hopefully will direct others to want to know Him too.


 I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, I really am but I deal with this kind of stuff every day too.(this shocked her by the way) Its not easy, not fun - but God never promised us easy or fun, He did promise that He will be with us, always. This is hard stuff but I promise you that it is a worthwhile behavior to work on.


So my dear, the next time someone wants to play the Drama Game, I hope you know what to do! As soon as you identify it, pray. And I promise that God will help you.

My dear, sweet, precious 7 year old looked at me and said, "Oh, ok!" And that was it, it was over.  Now obviously this comes up all the time but the conversation goes much different.  It is more along the lines of 'so and so were playing the drama game and this is what happened....'  She identifies it and is approaching it very differently!

My prayer is that her life will be filled with way less drama and more with blessings that only God can bring from the yucky situations.  Thats not too much to ask, right?